If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. You are going Uruguay, and I'm going my way. With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now. How do you account for that? (if she figures that one out she's good.) ( Groucho Marx in A Night at the Opera, 1935) Why did I sit with her? Because she reminds me of you, that why I'm here with you, because you remind me of you, your eyes, your throat, your lips, everything about you reminds me of you. ( Groucho Marx in A Night at the Opera, 1935) When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much? ( Groucho Marx in Monkey Business, 1931) ( Groucho Marx in A Day at the Races, 1937) She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean flee to my lodge in the hills. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. Madam, before I get through with you, you will have a clear case for divorce, and so will my wife. If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you. I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived. I married your mother because I wanted children. I'm gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there'll be no cover charge. I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure. I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. I know, heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home. I could dance with you until the cows come home. I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove.
Get some onions, that'll make your eyes water. (Answering telephone.) Hello? Yes? Ice water in 318? Is that so? Where'd you get it? Oh, you want some. Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. For Marx Brothers fans, and fans of comedy in general, this is truly must see TV.A selection of Quotes from the Marx Brothers Films, from Clown Ministry This first of its kind set (featuring long-lost material from the Marx Brothers own collections) presents a broad and genuinely rare array of television work from the comedy legends, who still had plenty of laughs left in them after the movies. For the next 20 years, the Marx Brothers appearances on television (individually and together) included sitcoms, game shows, variety programs and even the occasional drama. It was as if live vaudeville was being beamed to the entire nation. The new medium provided Groucho, Chico and Harpo with unprecedented exposure: which meant, of course, an opportunity to bring laughter to millions of people all at once.
But the end of their film career was perfectly timed for a collision with the birth of television. The Marx Brothers became entertainment icons through a long and brilliant career on vaudeville and Broadway stages, and they sealed their immortality in a string of celebrated feature films.
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